Sex Tape

Actors:  Jason Segel, Cameron Diaz, Rob Corddry, Ellie Kemper, Rob Lowe.

Rating:  7 out of 10, This was a follow up to Bad Teacher using the same pairing of leads – Segel and Diaz.  They’re a married couple trying to rediscover their horny ways lost with the arrival of parenthood.  They choose to do that by videoing their connubial interactions.  Unfortunately the device they used is automatically synched with a number of other devices in the hands of friends, neighbors, and the mailman; hilarity ensues.  The movie was funny at times, as long as you could suspend your disbelief that Segel could ever score with Diaz.  Diaz has a real talent for comedy and she carries the movie, along with her fully toned backside.  The movie loses its way near the finish line as they try to get too cute and heartfelt instead of sticking with the outrageous gags.  This is also the first movie I’ve seen him in that Rob Corddry doesn’t dominate as a supporting character; leads me to assume a weak writing team.  It was still a lot of laughs if a little uncomfortable at times.  

MVP:  Diaz and her backside

Under the Skin

Actors:  Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy McWilliams, Joe Szula, Kryštof Hádek, Paul Brannigan, Adam Pearson

Rating:  9 out of 10, Well if you’re going to make a film about an alien disguised as a human who lures other humans to their death by exposing skin you could do worse than Scarlett Johannsson.  They had me a Scarlett, although they went to great lengths not to over sensationalize the nudity, to make it almost clinically creepy.  That in itself is worthy of wonder but the stark, almost relentless Scottish background aids in the overall feeling of dread as do the aliens devoid of human feeling.  This film was much better with a second viewing, a really interesting if almost inhumanly blunt movie.   

MVP:  Johansson of course as the confused alien – was there anyone else even in the movie.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Actors:  Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Kodi Smit-McPhee.

Rating:  9 out of 10, I’ve seen all the ape movies dating back to Charlton Heston’s initial effort and this is one of the best.  The use of CGI is almost mesmerizing.  All the other ape movies before the latest two had humans walking around in silly ape costumes, one step up from the old 3 Stooges gorilla.  The apes in this were all authentically simian and capable of incredible character.  Old friend Caesar has established an ape utopia in the woods north of San Francisco while the rest of the world was destroyed by a simian flu epidemic.  The straggling remainders of humanity are eking out existence in the ruins of San Francisco when the two cultures collide; hilarity and warfare ensue.  It was startling to see one of my favorite cities reduced to ruin but everything about the movie seemed authentic.  You can’t help but suspend disbelief that the apes are computer generated.  They alone are worth seeing the movie for.

MVP:  Clarke continues his roll of heartfelt characters as Malcolm, friend of Ceasar

Guardians of the Galaxy

Actors:  Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Lee Pace, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Djimon Hounsou, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Benicio del Toro

Rating:  10 out of 10, I honestly think this is the best movie I’ve seen this year.  I was expecting a tongue in cheek Marvel adventure but this turned out to be a very good movie in and of itself.  While it did have some very, very funny dialogue it was also a very good adventure flick.  You add in a talking, smart ass raccoon and a one line talking tree which works so unexpectedly well (Bradley Copper and Vin Diesel voices helped). Chris Pratt has never been my cup of tea but he’s very funny in this and handles the adventure part with aplomb. Saladana is at her slinky best despite (once again) being buried under a mountain of makeup.  Is it weird that she can be so sexy repeatedly as an alien species.  The theater was packed and this was the best way to see this as we all joined in the experience.  The entire audience clapped at the end which is totally out of character for a New England locale but a good indication of how good this movie was.  Be sure to stick around for the post credit scene which had me rolling.

MVP:  Pratt effortlessly and surprisingly carries the movie as Star Lord Peter Quill

The Four Musketeers: Milady’s Revenge

Actors:  Michael York, Oliver Reed, Frank Finlay, Richard Chamberlain, Jean-Pierre Cassel, Geraldine Chaplin, Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway, Christopher Lee, Simon Ward, Raquel Welch, Spike Milligan, Roy Kinnear

Rating:  9 out of 10, This is the second half of the 3 Musketeers which was released as a sequel once they realized how much footage they had on their hands.  This one is even better than the first albeit a little darker.  The boys are running around France trying to thwart Charlton Heston’s evil plans along with laying siege to some rebels.  Just where did the Cardinal come up with all these henchman?  Even with all the hijinks the back story of Milady and Athos is heartbreaking when it reaches the climatic scenes.  Together with the first half of the film, easily the best version of the classic Dumas book ever brought to the screen.

MVP:   Raquel Welch as the clumsily tragic Constance Bonacieux

The Three Musketeers

Actors:  Michael York, Oliver Reed, Frank Finlay, Richard Chamberlain, Jean-Pierre Cassel, Geraldine Chaplin, Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway, Christopher Lee, Simon Ward, Raquel Welch, Spike Milligan, Roy Kinnear

Rating:  9 out of 10, One of my favorite movies from the 1970’s and by far the very best (along with the so called sequel – the Four Musketeers) movie version ever made of the Dumas classic.  Some of the action scenes haven’t aged as well as the rest of the movie but that’s probably because we’ve been so spoiled by CGI.  I had forgotten what immense screen presence a young Oliver Reed had – he just leaps off the screen.  I always wondered why he didn’t do more.  There was the well-remembered headlong mix of action, comedy and drama delivered by the supremely talented cast.  This film also marked the first time Raquel Welch was more than just a pretty face (amongst other features of her anatomy) as she was an able comedic, slapstick actress while still being just drop dead gorgeous.  A great romp down memory lane.

MVP:  Oliver Reed as Athos dominates the screen

The Expendables 3

Actors:  Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Rating:  7 out of 10, This movie was much better watching a second time.  It wasn’t a great attempt at moving the franchise into a younger generation.  I was surprised that they chose to veer away from the entertaining by-play between the aged mercenaries to play to a non-memorable group of youngsters.  Even the aggressive use of performance enhancing drugs cannot hide the onslaught of time on Stallone and Schwarzenegger although it was good to see Mel Gibson back at work as a passable villain.  Even Harrison Ford showed up for some unknown reason but at least he had the class to look slightly embarrassed.  The earlier two movies were entertaining if cartoonish.  The new director decided to go all the way into cartoonish.  Stallone also wrote this movie which was a surprise since he’s still a pretty good writer, if not judged by this.  The biggest failures were the young Expendables who dropped the baton which was being lazily handed to them by the seniors.  This is the kind of movie though that requires the suspension of disbelief and immersion into mayhem.  On that level it works fairly well.

MVP:  Banderas as Galgo the non-stop talking comedic relief.

22 Jump Street

Actors:  Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Peter Stormare, Ice Cube, Amber Stevens,

Wyatt Russell, Jillian Bell, Jimmy Tatro, Nick Offerman

Rating:  9 out of 10, This movie shouldn’t have worked because it was a tired retread of the first movie (which was hilarious).  It soars for exactly that reason.  I’ve never seen a sequel that poked so much fun at itself and at sequels in general.  The plot was tame and exactly what you would expect but the movie was aimed directly at the idiocy of most sequels – it wasn’t evenly thinly disguised.  The film revels in being a sequel that parodies sequels.  The end credits took this to another level including some very funny cameos.  See this movie for the end credits if nothing else – funny beyond words.

MVP:  Channing Tatum as Greg Jenko displays great comedic timing

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Actors:  Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Bruce Willis, Jaime King, and Powers Boothe, Josh Brolin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Eva Green, Dennis Haysbert, Ray Liotta, Christopher Lloyd, Jamie Chung, Jeremy Piven, Christopher Meloni, Stacy Keach, Lady Gaga, Alexa Vega, Julia Garner, Juno Temple

Rating:  8 out of 10, I liked this sequel to one of my favorite movies of all time.  This one has the same groundbreaking digital effects scenery of the first where most of the action is in black and white with just a few objects colorized.  My favorite character, the indestructible Marv, was back pulverizing anything in his way while Miho decapitated henchmen by the bushel.  This was a prequel in some ways since when we last saw Marv he was riding an electric chair. Some of the other returning characters were dealing with events from the first movie.  I really liked this second movie but it didn’t have the same dark edge of the original, it was a little too brightly lit.  There were some new characters introduced who more than held their own led by Joseph Gordon-Leavitt and Eva Green (or more correctly Eva’s breasts).  Sin City is like film noir on some amazing performance enhancing drugs.  It doesn’t apologize for being violent or absurd but revels in it.

MVP:  Gordon-Leavitt as the cocky Johnny, lucky in everything except parentage

Maleficent

Actors:  Angelina Jolie, Ella Purnell, Isobelle Molloy, Elle Fanning, Vivienne Jolie-Pitt, Janet McTeer, Sharlto Copley, Sam Riley

Rating:  8 out of 10, Disney, ever ready to wring every last dollar out of their franchises, decided the wicked witch of the Sleeping Beauty saga needed her reputation rehabbed.  Angelina Jolie was tone perfect for the lead role as the misunderstood fairy queen.  She’s become such a pop culture icon that you forget what a talented actress she is and her eyes eloquently tell most of the story.  It was cool seeing all the images from the original story brought in with a new meaning as we see the story from the “evil” queen’s side as she battles to protect her people from the humans.  The movie sometimes pushes the cute level a little too much (we are talking Disney here folks) and applies the typical Disney hammer to make points that could have been more subtly introduced.  All that being said, it was a fun watch.

MVP:  Jolie, very eye eloquent in the title role

Hercules

Actors:  Dwayne Johnson, Ian McShane, Reece Ritchie, Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Joseph Fiennes, John Hurt.

Rating:  7 out of 10, Noted thespian Dwayne “Rock” Johnson holds forth as the legendary muscle man. Since this was a Bret Ratner film you are obligated to donate brain cells before entering but it turned out to be pretty entertaining as they play his god like prowess as an ancient con game. This is the part Johnson was born to play as he has the physique and athleticism to make Hercules come alive. Most guys who’ve attempted the part are so muscle bound they couldn’t turn their head without committing the entire body. Johnson’s also a better actor than most give him credit for and he’s surrounded by a supporting cast of really fine actors. Since it’s ancient times they all speak with British accents though.

MVP:   Johnson in the role he was born to play

Space Balls

Actors:  Mel Brooks, John Candy, Bill Pullman, Daphne Zuniga, Rick Moranis

Rating:  7 out of 10, One of the few Brooks’ movies I had not seen.  I was/am a huge Star Wars nerd so I thought it would be disrespectful to enjoy this parody aimed straight at that beloved movie. In typical Brooks fashion he completely flays all the lofty concepts and has a really good time doing it, Yogurt as the pint sized peddler of the power of “the Schwartz” is just one example of the hijinks.  Brooks went very ethnic in this going a little over the top with all the Jewish jokes but that’s what Mel does.  The overt attempts to merchandise the film in the midst of making it also hit home.  Bittersweet to see John Candy again – it made me realize how much I missed Mr. Mambo.  The film is definitely dated but it still elicited a number of surprise laughs that my nerd side couldn’t suppress.

MVP:  Candy as Barf the Mawg wookie stand in

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Actors:  Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Nicholas Hoult, Shawn Ashmore, Peter Dinklage, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart

Rating:  9 out of 10, A great action flick, up to Marvel’s usual standard in the way of special effects, but you can also tell that a supremely talented director was back at the helm as well as the story is so ridiculously convoluted in jumping back and forth between the present, past, and future that to see it flow smoothly understandable across the screen is a real achievement.  My “kids” were crowing that this movie finally returned sanity to the X-Men universe in terms of loyalty to the source material.  I was blissfully unaware that this was a serious problem but I’m assured that this is how the X-Men mythology is supposed to unfold.  I'm sure to sleep more soundly tonight now that this cosmic crime has been deus ex machina-ed back in line.   While I loved the science fiction aspects, my wife “marveled” at the fully exposed gluteal muscles of the Wolverine displayed in all their glory.  She muttered something about crossing an item off a bucket list.  Hugh Jackman’s butt has been a serious topic of discussion ever since she saw him on Broadway a few years ago.

MVP:   Good to see Patrick Stewart as Professor Charles Xavier re-assembled and back as the soul of the X-Men

To Be or Not To Be

Actors:  Mel Brooks, Anne Bancroft; Tim Matheson, Charles Durning, Christopher Lloyd, José Ferrer

Rating:  6 out of 10, The next in my Mel Brooks journey and a little different than his earlier efforts.  This is more a straight comedy without the usual number of gags and slapstick.  Any movie with Christopher Lloyd playing a part straight much less a Nazi officer is fertile ground – its good he stuck to comedy after this.  The movie is worth watching to see Bancroft and Brooks (real life husband and wife) together.  They play a pair of ham actors in 1939 Warsaw just as the Germans stop by.  Funny at times but missing the manic fun of his earlier work.

MVP:  Bancroft as the philandering Anna Bronski

Edge of Tomorrow

Actors:  Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton, Brendan Gleeson
Rating:  9 out of 10, Say what you want about Tom Cruise but he knows how to deliver a summer blockbuster.  I feared my high expectations would lead to disappointment but that fear was shattered early on.  This is a great sci fi movie told on a grand scale.  It’s the love child of a cross breeding of Groundhog Day and Aliens.  Cruise plays a smarmy political type officer who’s forced into combat and then is eternally re-cycled, by dying, through the same day until he can figure out how to beat the aliens.  Emily Blunt almost steals the movie from Cruise as a fellow soldier afflicted with the same recycling issue.  There are some very funny moments as Cruise repeatedly meets his demise while trying to learn how to fight.  The only problem comes at the very end where the Hollywood effect is imposed but that doesn’t distract from a really good adventure and who doesn’t want to see Tom Cruise killed a couple hundred times.

MVP:  Blunt as Rita Vrataski Full Metal Bitch warrior extraordinaire

Transformers, Age of Extinction

Actors:  Mark Wahlberg as Cade Yeager, Stanley Tucci, Nicola Peltz, Kelsey Grammer, Jack Reynor

Rating:  8 out of 10   I guess there were so many unanswered questions in the Transfomer saga they just had to make another.  The one thing that stood out for me, outside of the amazing CGI effects, was how damned long this thing was.  Michael Bay has made so much money on this series that he’s been given carte blanche which isn’t necessarily a good thing.  You get well over two hours of non-stop pitched battles between huge robots and evil humans.  Chicago gets worked over again and in what has become routine in large action flicks, the battles move to China (can’t short change that lucrative demographic) where Hong Kong gets pasted.  You know things are completely out of hand when ancient robotic dinosaurs join the fight.  There is no over the top for Mr. Bay.  Mark Wahlberg and Stanley Tucci along with the obligatory hottie in short shorts were nice additions to the cast which was completely overhauled.  There were however a tidal wave of cringe worthy lines the actors are forced to utter which sent the unintentional comedy level through the roof.  With all the money Bay gets to make these things you think he’d invest a little bit in the writing. It was however a transformers movie where you don’t go in expecting Shakespeare and you certainly get your money’s worth of death and destruction.

MVP:  Wahlberg as Cade Yeager further cements his action credentials

History of the World, Part 1

Actors:  Mel Brooks, Sid Caesar, Shecky Greene, Gregory Hines, Dom DeLuise, Madeline Kahn, Harvey Korman, Cloris Leachman

Rating:  7 out of 10, Not one of Brooks’ greatest efforts but it has some very funny moments and at least one enduring line for the ages – “It’s good to be king!” as well as the “15 no 10 commandments”.  Mel and his merry band of regulars take hysterical license with history from the stone age to the French Revolution.  Many of the jokes haven’t aged well and the semi-maniacal pace can be a little off putting but it remains a great example of Brook’s cache at the time.  He could get away with a lot more than other directors at the time.

MVP:  Delouise as the Roman Emperor who keeps finding things in his butt

Godzilla

Actors:  Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Bryan Cranston, Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche, Sally Hawkins, David Strathairn

Rating:  8 out of 10, This current movie is sneakily very, very good.  I’ve always taken the stance that the name “Godzilla” should always be uttered with a deep guttural Japanese accent.  It was therefore with intense pleasure that the first time it was said in the movie was in just that fashion by the excellent Japanese actor, Ken Watanabe. This flick is successful because it stays with the human story and uses the huge monsters as a plot device instead of the focus.  Godzilla emerges as nature’s response (much to San Francisco’s detriment) to two large nuclear feeding monsters called MUTOs.  The monsters are forces of nature and the movie is about the way humans would react to this immense challenge.  There are no sinister corporation rabbit holes to explore.  There were some pretty dumb tactical decisions made but this was obviously done to keep the story moving forward.  The young actors were especially good, the Olsen twins’ younger sister and Kick Ass himself, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, were effective as the young couple the story centers around.  You wouldn’t want to stand around his character in a thunder storm though as wherever he happens to be standing is ground zero for something extremely bad to happen.  This is definitely the best Godzilla movie ever made which says a lot, nostalgia wise.

MVP:  Taylor-Johnson in his best performance since the first Kick-Ass

High Anxiety

Actors:  Mel Brooks, Harvey Korman, Cloris Leachman, Madeline Kahn

Rating:  8 out of 10, Brooks' heartfelt and extremely funny parody of all things Hitchcockian where every single scene is tied to one of Alfred’s classics.  He’s brought along some of his funniest collaborators who pick up the slack for what Brooks lacks as the lead actor.  Brooks as an actor is a great writer.  The movie became a great trivia test as I tried to spot which movie was being parodied in each scene.  The scenes between Leachman and Korman are comedic genius.

MVP:  Cloris Leachman as the scary Nurse Diesel.

Silent Movie

Actors:  Mel Brooks, Dom DeLuise, Marty Feldman, Bernadette Peters, Sid Caesar, Anne Bancroft, Liza Minnelli, Burt Reynolds, James Caan, Marcel Marceau, Paul Newman

Rating:  7 out of 10, This hasn’t aged well because all of the big stars that were one of the movie’s gimmicks are either dead or not that big a deal any more.  It still remains a loving tribute to the silent movie era and resurrects a lot of the typical scenarios prevalent in that genre.  Brooks is better behind the camera and/or writing than as a lead actor.  It could have been a better movie if the maniacal Marty Feldman was allowed more free rein as well.  The plot involves a has-been movie director trying to convince a studio head and A List actors to make – a silent movie.  If nothing else this was a nice trip down slapstick memory lane.

MVP:  Feldman as the slightly perverted Marty Eggs

Captain America, The Winter Soldier

Actors:  Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Robert Redford, Samuel L. Jackson, Cobie Smulders, Frank Grillo

Rating:  9 out of 10, Each Marvel film seems to get bigger and yet they’re still immensely entertaining.  This film was every bit as much Johansson’s movie as the redoubtable Captain.  The action is virtually non-stop as the Captain and his crew confronts an infiltration of Shield by an old nemesis from World War 2 days.  This film is heavy on CGI but still amazes.  They somehow superimposed the massive Shield headquarters right across the Potomac from the Kennedy Center and made it look real.  I used to run through the area daily so it was especially jarring.   I liked the message (yes Marvel movies can have a message) that security shouldn’t be purchased at the cost of freedom and a few million assassinations.   There’s a lot more of Samuel L. Jackson (without a single M.F. that I can recall) and a coolly evil Robert Redford.  You had to know any organization that has Garry Shandling as one of its leaders is in trouble but I digress.  A great thrill ride. 

MVP:  Johannsen as the Natasha, the Black Widow is the perfect foil for the 1940’s mentality of Cap

The Twelve Chairs

Actors:  Mel Brooks, Frank Langella, Ron Moody, Dom DeLuise

Rating:  7 out of 10.  This was the only Mel Brooks movie I had never seen and while it’s a bit dated (especially with all the USSR jokes) it still has Brooks’ manic humor underlying all the dialogue.  A couple of dispossessed Russian noblemen are competing with a corrupt priest to find a chair where a fortune in jewels was hidden.   This doesn’t have the hilarious one liners most of his later work but has a more subtle comment on the human condition and greed.  Frank Langella looks impossibly young here, it’s almost as if he voicing over a young actor.  It was interesting seeing this early Brooks’ effort before he was freed up to be himself in the later, funnier ones.  

MVP:  Dom Delouise as the Russian priest trying to steal the jewels – best line in the entire movie – “God, you’re so strict!”

Draft Day

Actors:  Kevin Costner, Jennifer Garner, Denis Leary, Frank Langella, Tom Welling, Sam Elliott, Ellen Burstyn, Chadwick Boseman

Rating:  8 out of 10,  I wasn’t too sure what to make of Draft Day when I first saw the previews, a movie about the NFL college draft.  Since Kevin Costner was in it I knew I was going to see it since my wife has a serious, almost troubling crush on him.  I was pleasantly surprised by a very strong movie which is kind of a comedic drama.  Costner plays the general manager of the Cleveland Browns (poor bastard) who’s trying to build a better team while also dealing with the recent death of an iconic father and a pregnant girlfriend as well as the whirling maelstrom of the college draft.  Costner is so good in sports related movies and he delivers again as a force of reason in the unreasonable world of professional sports.  Jennifer Garner is a great foil as the supportive and strong willed girlfriend. The film does a great job of building up suspense as we’re kept wondering to the final scenes whether he’ll succeed or fail spectacularly. This turned out to be one of the best movies I’ve seen all year.  My wife even said she wants to watch this year’s college draft day now that she knows what it’s all about.  At some point I’m going to have to tell her that none of the NFL’s GMs even remotely resemble Costner.

MVP:  Costner as Sonny Weaver plays the beleaguered GM with appropriate gravitas and humor

Amazing Spiderman 2

Actors:  Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Dane DeHaan, Campbell Scott, Embeth Davidtz, Colm Feore, Paul Giamatti, Sally Field

Rating:  9 out of 10,  I really enjoyed the first movie after approaching it wondering why it was needed so soon after the Toby Maguire efforts.  This second one is even better than the excellent first and getting more into the price paid by Spidy and his friends.  Spidy engages in the mid-battle banter which is more in line with his comic book personae.  This kid Garfield can really act and Emma Stone is a lot of fun in whatever she chooses to do.  There’s obvious chemistry between the two but the scenes with Jaime Foxx make the movie.  It’s great that blockbuster summer movie doesn’t forget to include compelling stories and actual acting to go along with the special effects (although those were typically Marvel awesome).  Rare for a sequel to outdo its predecessor but here’s a case.  I’m not a student of the comic book mythology so I’m immune to the Gwen Stacey departure issues.  A fun ride.

MVP:  Emma Stone as the Gwen, the best thing about the movie. 

Transcendence

Actors: stars Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Kate Mara, Cillian Murphy, Paul Bettany, Morgan Freeman

Rating:  6 out of 10, Captain Jack himself couldn’t save this.  This film has a fascinating concept involving the relationship of technology to humanity but misses the mark on a number of fronts.  Depp totally mails in his performance which dooms the movie since the plot revolves around his humanity.  He plays the world’s foremost AI scientist who’s loaded into a computer when tragically assassinated.  There were some really cool effects but plot holes you could drive a well-stocked semi through make it seem kind of silly.  The movie is told through flashback as we see the results of the climax before anything happens.  That plot device only works if getting there makes sense which this doesn’t.  Rebecca Hall does a great job as Depp’s devoted wife but she’s fighting a losing battle with his lack of presence.  Morgan Freeman and Kate Mara are criminally underused in supporting roles.  Instead of being a soaring statement about the possibilities and dangers of technology, it comes across as something trite; ploddingly so.

MVP:  Hall as the brilliant but confused wife Evelyn Caster 

Noah

Actors: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Anthony Hopkins.

Rating:  7 out of 10, I can understand why all the religious organizations are in a bit of a tizzy about the “liberties” the film makers took with the story of the biblical flood.  I guess they’re really weren’t any exploding rock monster angels in book of Genesis but it made for an interesting flick.  Also, you put General Maximus Decimus Meridius in charge of the ark there’s going to be some serious hand to hand combat taking place; we’re talking donnybrook level. Even with all the non-biblical action inserted you can’t hide the fact of what good actors were involved. Russell Crowe seems to take himself entirely too seriously at times and Percy Jackson is revealed as something of a horndog. They inserted a silly sub-plot about a stowaway and Noah’s obsession with planned parenthood which drew the movie down more than Noah’s previously unreported proficiency with a battle axe.  It was still a great ride and even Hollywood can’t hide the underlying message of hope.

MVP:  Connelly shines in an underused role as Naameh, Noah’s wife 

Divergent

Actors: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Ashley Judd, Jai Courtney, Ray Stevenson, Zoë Kravitz, Miles Teller, Tony Goldwyn, Maggie Q and Kate Winslet.

Rating:  8 out of 10, I’m guessing this is some sort of Hunger Games rip off and I later learned it’s part of a trilogy penned by a young female author in that vein.  Thank God it wasn’t some of that soulless Twilight crap and was actually pretty entertaining.  It’s set in a future post-apocalyptic Chicago surrounded by a huge wall.  The people have divided themselves into factions based on their abilities which leads to a lot of intrigue.  Shailene Woodley who was the best thing about the movie The Descendants stars as the lead character and does a good job of carrying it. She’s a “divergent” which is a bad thing in this strictly structured class society and we follow her initiation into the war fighting faction.  Since this was penned for the young and female there’s a hunky trainer who falls madly in love with her but that doesn’t distract from the action and a fast moving plot.  It’s evidence that good acting can elevate some marginal writing, this was a lot of fun to watch.  Maggie Q and Ray Stevenson are severely underused but Kate Winslet chews up a lot of scenery as the villain.    

MVP:  Woodley shines as Trice, the divergent around which everything revolves

The Other Woman

Actors:  Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Nicki Minaj, Don Johnson.

Rating:  8 out of 10, I was the only attendee with a Y-chromosome and it seemed like a movie straight off the Lifetime (the Evil Man) Channel.  The evil man here was Jaime Lannister himself who’s married to Leslie Mann but sneaking off for affairs with Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton.  The ladies discover each other and plot their revenge. There were some really funny moments, all of them involving Mann and Diaz.  I think Mann may be the funniest actress in movies right now and Diaz has always had great comedic timing.  Upton absolutely destroys a white bikini (I think I was the only one in the audience who truly appreciated that) by jogging down the beach but her talents definitely do not lie in acting.  Nicky Minaj was also in this for some unexplained reason and was predictably terrible.  The evil man gets his comeuppance, the ladies triumph and although you could see that coming throughout the movie this was still a lot of fun to watch, mainly for Mann and Diaz (and the white bikini).

MVP:  Mann as the devoted yet cheated upon spouse 

See What I Mean?

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Actors:  James Franco, Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Tom Felton, and Andy Serkis

Rating:  8 out of 10, I gave this another chance since I enjoyed the recently released sequel.   I was struck once again by the dominance of Andy Serkis even though he’s submerged by layers and layers of computer programming.  A lot of acting is in the eyes and the gestures and those are all his.  Franco as a brilliant microbiologist is a huge stretch but it helps to have Freida hanging around.   I’ll watch anything Lithgow does and he’s perfect as the Alzheimer dad struggling to hang on to his humanity.  Great action and a film that leaves you believing apes can really talk.   

MVP:  Serkis as Caesar rules, best actor in film 

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Actors:  Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina

Rating:  7 out of 10, A Disney swashbuckler so we’re not curing cancer or anything here but it still provides an entertaining romp through ancient Iran with English accented (even the Americans) heroes and villains.  I’m told this is an adaption of a popular video game (completely out of my sphere on that) and you could see the efforts to connect the lead character’s antics with video game level gymnastics.  All that being said Gyllenhaal is a fascinating lead here, he’s really good as an action hero and I saw Dallas Buyer’s Club a few weeks ago.  To say the transition is startling would be a vast understatement.  There’s very little chemistry with Arterton but there’s a very accomplished stable of supporting actors to help carry a long movie.  It’s Disney, not deep, but action packed, silly, and enjoyable. 

MVP:  Jake Gyllenhaal as Prince Dastan shows some real panache

Odd Thomas

Actors:  Anton Yelchin , Willem Dafoe, Addison Timlin, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Nico Tortorella, Shuler Hensley, Kyle McKeever

Rating:  9 out of 10, A movie that totally snuck up on me.  A fairly low budget horror/thriller featuring a clairvoyant cook with supernatural powers to see the dead. He must confront a serious threat to his desert home town and uses his power to track down the evil dudes.  This really shouldn’t work but it does because of a truly engaging cast led by Yelchin, ably supported by Dafoe and Timlin.  The fresh take of the police actually buying into the mystical powers and using them was interesting.   A total surprise at how well this movie was and why I’d never heard of it before.

MVP:  Yelchin effortlessly carries the movie as Odd, seems capable of much bigger things

Last Vegas

Actors:  Robert Deniro, Morgan Freeman, Michael Douglas, Kevin Kline, Mary Steenburgen

Rating:  8 out of 10, I liked Last Vegas mainly because it has three of the best actors around as well as Michael Douglas. It was like one of the Hangover movies with a Viagra laced wolf pack. The story involved four lifelong friends now in their seventies who link up in Las Vegas for a bachelor party as the lone holdout, Douglas, finally gets married. There’s some very funny stuff here as the codger factor is applied to the youthful excesses of Sin City. All of these actors are superb and when you throw Mary Steenburgen into the mix you’re guaranteed an excellent movie. This isn’t very deep and it looked like they all had fun poking fun at themselves and their advancing age.

MVP:  Freeman as the very lucky enabler of the bunch

Delivery Man

Actors:  Vince Vaughn, Chris Pratt, Colbie Smulders.

Rating:  8 out of 10, This surprised the heck out of me. I went in expecting an over the top comedy centered around a guy who finds out that he’s the father of over 500 grown kids due to a vigorous policy of sperm donations twenty years before. It turned out to be a really nice film about a guy finding himself, connecting with life in general and the importance of family. Vince Vaughn portrays the prodigious procreator and finally tones it down enough to be genuinely likable. It’s the best thing he’s done in years and shows some real heart.

MVP:  Vaugh as the semi-hapless Starbuck who grows up at 40

300, Rise of an Empire

Actors:  Lena Headey, Rodrigo Santoro, David Wenham, Andrew Tiernan, Andrew Pleavin, Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Hans Matheson, Callan Mulvey, Jack O'Connell

Rating:  8 out of 10, Everything you think it would be – heads flying off, bodices ripped open, and sexual encounters in the middle of battle – all so highly “realistic”.  It picks up the story directly adjacent to and after the battle of Thermopylae as Xerxes descends on Greece and focuses on the Athenians this time instead of the Spartans.  It was cool to see Strikeback’s SGT Damien Scott (Sullivan Stapleton) playing Themistocles – he looks to have a bright future as he was completely at home on the big screen.  The filmmakers went in a different direction this time trying to woo female viewers (guys were a sure bet).  In the first movie it was lingering shots of male abdominal six packs that were almost homo-erotic.  They abandoned that for some kick ass female characters that were stabbing and decapitating along with their male counterparts.  Eva Green plays the villain and is carving out a real niche as a spookily evil temptress “type” (I was going to but didn’t use the b-word – daughter’s influence again).  This movie was all about making the blood spurts as dramatic as possible (3D, don’t you know) and frantically maintaining a bare fingernail hold on the real history of the events.  It was a lot of harmless fun (except if you were in the Persian navy at Salamis) if not taken too seriously; exactly what I expected and I loved it.

MVP:  Stapleton showing some real screen presence as Themistocles

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Actors:  Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Shirley MacLaine, Adam Scott, Kathryn Hahn,

Sean Penn, Patton Oswalt

Rating:  8 out of 10, The best that can be said of this is repeating the wise words of my daughter, Ben Stiller is no Danny Kaye.  The movie was startlingly beautiful though  in the location shots of off the beaten places like Greenland, Iceland, and the Himalayas.  Those parts were so well done that it was almost like visiting them.  This is the third time I’ve watched this film and it grows in my estimation each time.  The gaping plot holes don’t distract from the amazing canvas the scenes of Walter’s travels are painted on.  Those scenes are devastatingly beautiful and worth the price of the contrived plot.  It’s always tough to remake a classic and this movie is eminently watchable but I guess I may have expected too much from it. 

MVP:  Stiller underplays his usual over the top personae and shows depth as Walter 

Neverending Story 2

Actors:  Jonathan Brandis, Kenny Morrison, Alexandra Johnes, Thomas Hill

John Wesley Shipp, Martin Umbach , Clarissa Burt

Rating:  5 out of 10, Since the first one was successful Hollywood sunk its claws into the sequel and tried to make the exact same movie.  This time Bastian spends most of the movie in Fantasia where they’re fighting the “Emptiness” instead of the “Nothing”.  The huge flying dog and Atreyu are back but this one can’t hold a candle to the original, even with the extra dollars obviously spent.  A story of kindergartners doesn’t translate well to teen-aged angst. 

MVP:  Clarissa Burt as the evil witch Xayide 

Neverending Story

Actors:  Barret Oliver, Noah Hathaway, Tami Stronach, Moses Gunn, Thomas Hill,  Alan Oppenheimer

Rating:  6 out of 10, I bought this on a whim fondly remembering watching this with my kids when they were very young.  I remembered a good, if child-centric story with a cool flying dog.  The age of CGI has not been kind to the special effects and it struggled to hold my attention without a rapt five year old at my side.  It’s a German story forced into an American milieu which led to some strange scenes but the child actors in this were very good.  It’s the story of the mythical land of Fantasia led by the Childlike Empress who’s struggling against a force called the “Nothing” with able child warrior Atreyu (very cool name). Fantasia is linked to the real world through a book and a bullied young Bastian finds the book and is drawn into the world of Fantasia.  I guess I’m going to wait for grandchildren to enjoy this movie again.   

MVP:  Hathaway as the warrior Atreyu, always surprised he didn’t turn out to be a star as an adult, ton of screen presence at an early age 

Grudge Match

Actors:  Sylvester Stallone, Robert Deniro, Kim Bassinger, Kevin Hart, Alan Arkin, Jon Bernthal

Rating:  8 out of 10, I didn’t have high hopes for based on what I’d heard about it, but c’mon Rocky Balboa against Jake Lamotta – I was going to see this movie.  While it certainly did have its awkward moments it was very enjoyable.  They went a little overboard trying to make connections back to the Rocky movie, some more blatant than others and Kim Bassinger was completely out of her league. Stallone’s gone the lunkhead route for most of his career but he’s really not that bad an actor and more than holds his own with Deniro which is no mean task.  The movie is predicable but again, enjoyable.  It was the kind of movie I know I should dislike but I couldn’t help myself, a tribute to the two leads, ably supported by Alan Arkin, one of the funniest guys to ever draw breath.  The hardest thing to do was suspend disbelief that Stallone would not immediately mop the floor with Deniro in the ring, so maybe this was really an Oscar level turn for Deniro.

MVP:  Arkin steals every scene as the ancient trainer and is funnier than Hart 

Homefront

Actors:  Jason Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder, and Kate Bosworth

Rating:  8 out of 10, The latest Jason Statham offering, that’s all the description you need to understand what kind of movie we’re talking about.  Statham is kicking Cajun redneck butt in this one with James Franco as a really un-scary meth gang leader.  We’re not delving into Shakespearean fare here but this was pretty entertaining as the action moves towards the inevitable show/smack down.  The biggest surprises were two of the female supporting actresses.  Kate Bosworth completely shunned her good looks and looked to be method acting the part of a meth-head low life.  Winona Ryder was completely unrecognizable as Franco’s girlfriend/business partner.  I just hope they offered Bosworth rehab after filming because she seriously looked like she needed it; her best performance in years.  

MVP:  Statham kicking ass and taking names

Escape Plan

Actors:  Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Caviezel, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, Vinnie Jones, Vincent D'Onofrio,  Amy Ryan

Rating:  7 out of 10, This is another of their combined attempts of Stallone and  Schwarzenegger to recapture their 1980’s glory days even as they pass into senior citizenry.  Both can still carry a movie and this was watchable, if predictable.  They both end up incarcerated in a sadistic private prison and their geritol fueled angst is palpable.   Stallone has obviously done a whole lot of steroids and can barely walk in a straight line, but then again, did he ever?  Caveizel does an interesting turn as the bad guy.  No surprises but some very good set action pieces.

MVP:  Stallone as the incarcerated escape artist

Blue is the Warmest Color

Actors:  Léa Seydoux, Adèle Exarchopoulos

Rating:  8 out of 10, This was a movie my daughter really liked but was leery recommending to me.  First of all it’s French and that’s never a good starting point for me but it does have an overwhelming amount of female nudity so the French factor was mitigated.  It’s a coming of age flick about a young girl who meets her true love (who happens to be another woman) and follows their relationship for the next decade or so.  Despite all the subtitles and the length (really long) this is a very engaging film about the essence of true love not tied to societal norms and that a relationship need more than great passion in the long run.  The director ensured that the color blue was represented in every scene which became an interesting game to note after spotting this.  The film is very explicit as the camera is for extended periods brought right into the various writhings going on and it had my wife running to close the curtains so the neighbors wouldn’t be exposed to our depraved viewing of French anatomy.  If you’ve got the time and aren’t offended by graphic nudity – a great movie.

MVP:  Exarchopoulos as the confused and semi-tragic Adele

Dallas Buyers Club

Actors:  Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Jared Leto, Denis O'Hare, Steve Zahn

Rating:  7 out of 10, A movie that grabs you from the outset mainly because McConaughey appears so absolutely wasted physically by AIDs.  He and Jared Leto went all in on portraying the ravaged characters and it’s almost mesmerizing.  The plot is kind of thin but doesn’t get into Hollywood preaching mode which was refreshing.  A Texas cowboy finds out he is afflicted with AIDs during the Reagan years and is given thirty days to live.  He becomes an illegal purveyor of unapproved treatment drugs and over the next seven years turns his life around with an unlikely alliance with a cross dressing Leto.  This film does accurately capture the panic and hopelessness when the AIDS epidemic first surfaced.  You leave the movie worried about the real world health of the lead actors who went to award winning lengths to lose weight.

MVP:  While Leto’s Rayon was astounding McConaughey as Ron dominates 

Hours

Actors:  Paul Walker, Genesis Rodriguez

Rating:  6 out of 10, This is virtually a one man show and at the risk of criticizing the dearly departed, thespian skills were Paul Walker’s strongest suit.  He plays a new father struggling alone to save his newborn baby in an abandoned New Orleans hospital during Hurricane Katrina and aftermath.  There just wasn’t enough meat hanging on the bones of the script.  The plot device of being anchored to his kid’s lifesaving apparatus which needed recharging every two minutes opened some gaping plot holes.  Walker’s forte was action and he shouldn’t have wandered away from that.  The dog was pretty cool though.

MVP:  Walker as the only guy really in this movie 

Jack Ryan, Shadow Recruit

Actors:  Kenneth Branagh, Chris Pine, Kevin Costner, Keira Knightley

Rating:  7 out of 10, Chris Pine is the fourth actor to portray Tom Clancy’s iconic hero and this movie goes back to his origin story although updating it to present day (and setting up a new franchise).  The movie is extremely well done and at least the first half is loyal to Clancy’s character.  For the second half Ryan is transformed into a combination of James Bond and Sherlock Holmes as Pine Captain Kirk’s his way to the finish line.  This is just me waxing philosophical about a new take on a cherished literary character in the cinema.  All that being said the action is literally non-stop and extremely well done.  The only miss in the cast is Keira Knightley (someone I usually like a lot) as Cathy Ryan who struggles badly maintaining her American accent.  Costner and Branagh (who also directed) are typically fabulous in important supporting roles.

MVP:  Costner continues a strong series of middle aged action dudes as Thomas Harper, Ryan’s CIA controller 

Nebraska

Actors:  Bruce Dern, Will Forte, June Squibb, Bob Odenkirk, Stacey Keach

Rating:  8 out of 10, A very simple story lovingly told in simple stark, black and white.  The issues at play (within the object family) aren’t as clear though.  Dern is magnificent as a befuddled old man on a quest to claim one of those mythical million dollar sweepstakes awards.  He ends up on a road trip back through his life with a loving son.  I’m usually not that much into “message” type films but this one touched me, probably because I’m getting older.  The subtle humor at the social gaffes that form the fabric of the extended family is incredible.  If you haven’t seen it yet, I’ll give you a quick piece of advice – don’t give up on the character of the wife too early.  The final ride back through Hawthorne was priceless.

MVP:  Squibb as the long suffering but wise wife who you’d want on your side in any fight 

Lone Survivor

Actors:  Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Emile Hirsch, Ben Foster and Eric Bana.

Rating:  9 out of 10, An elegant film about the sacrifice young Americans continue to make daily in the furtive, hidden parts of the world.  You know going into the movie what the result is so it’s kind of painful to watch the real life story of a SEAL team's desperate battle for survival in Afghanistan which earned one a posthumous Congressional Medal of Honor.   The 4-man recon team is compromised and tries to fight their way out of danger against a much larger force of Taliban. What emerges is the nobility of spirit amongst these warriors as they pay the price for a humane decision.  The devotion of the men to each other even when they might disagree is an object lesson.  The real life survivor plays a small role and advised in making the film, keeping the movie from descending into typical Hollywood jingoism.  The Afghans are given their place in the story and allowed to show some of their own nobility.  It’s bloody, heart rending and yet somehow ultimately uplifting.  The sacrifices these gallant young men made on that remote mountainside will never be forgotten now, even if the mainstream media would like to ignore the fact we still have a shooting war going on.  I was literally choked up at the end and said a prayer of thanks for those guys and to a country that can produce such heroes.

MVP:  Ben Foster as Ax truly captured the mannerism of a special forces operator