Sex Tape

Actors:  Jason Segel, Cameron Diaz, Rob Corddry, Ellie Kemper, Rob Lowe.

Rating:  7 out of 10, This was a follow up to Bad Teacher using the same pairing of leads – Segel and Diaz.  They’re a married couple trying to rediscover their horny ways lost with the arrival of parenthood.  They choose to do that by videoing their connubial interactions.  Unfortunately the device they used is automatically synched with a number of other devices in the hands of friends, neighbors, and the mailman; hilarity ensues.  The movie was funny at times, as long as you could suspend your disbelief that Segel could ever score with Diaz.  Diaz has a real talent for comedy and she carries the movie, along with her fully toned backside.  The movie loses its way near the finish line as they try to get too cute and heartfelt instead of sticking with the outrageous gags.  This is also the first movie I’ve seen him in that Rob Corddry doesn’t dominate as a supporting character; leads me to assume a weak writing team.  It was still a lot of laughs if a little uncomfortable at times.  

MVP:  Diaz and her backside

Under the Skin

Actors:  Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy McWilliams, Joe Szula, Kryštof Hádek, Paul Brannigan, Adam Pearson

Rating:  9 out of 10, Well if you’re going to make a film about an alien disguised as a human who lures other humans to their death by exposing skin you could do worse than Scarlett Johannsson.  They had me a Scarlett, although they went to great lengths not to over sensationalize the nudity, to make it almost clinically creepy.  That in itself is worthy of wonder but the stark, almost relentless Scottish background aids in the overall feeling of dread as do the aliens devoid of human feeling.  This film was much better with a second viewing, a really interesting if almost inhumanly blunt movie.   

MVP:  Johansson of course as the confused alien – was there anyone else even in the movie.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Actors:  Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Kodi Smit-McPhee.

Rating:  9 out of 10, I’ve seen all the ape movies dating back to Charlton Heston’s initial effort and this is one of the best.  The use of CGI is almost mesmerizing.  All the other ape movies before the latest two had humans walking around in silly ape costumes, one step up from the old 3 Stooges gorilla.  The apes in this were all authentically simian and capable of incredible character.  Old friend Caesar has established an ape utopia in the woods north of San Francisco while the rest of the world was destroyed by a simian flu epidemic.  The straggling remainders of humanity are eking out existence in the ruins of San Francisco when the two cultures collide; hilarity and warfare ensue.  It was startling to see one of my favorite cities reduced to ruin but everything about the movie seemed authentic.  You can’t help but suspend disbelief that the apes are computer generated.  They alone are worth seeing the movie for.

MVP:  Clarke continues his roll of heartfelt characters as Malcolm, friend of Ceasar

Guardians of the Galaxy

Actors:  Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Lee Pace, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Djimon Hounsou, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Benicio del Toro

Rating:  10 out of 10, I honestly think this is the best movie I’ve seen this year.  I was expecting a tongue in cheek Marvel adventure but this turned out to be a very good movie in and of itself.  While it did have some very, very funny dialogue it was also a very good adventure flick.  You add in a talking, smart ass raccoon and a one line talking tree which works so unexpectedly well (Bradley Copper and Vin Diesel voices helped). Chris Pratt has never been my cup of tea but he’s very funny in this and handles the adventure part with aplomb. Saladana is at her slinky best despite (once again) being buried under a mountain of makeup.  Is it weird that she can be so sexy repeatedly as an alien species.  The theater was packed and this was the best way to see this as we all joined in the experience.  The entire audience clapped at the end which is totally out of character for a New England locale but a good indication of how good this movie was.  Be sure to stick around for the post credit scene which had me rolling.

MVP:  Pratt effortlessly and surprisingly carries the movie as Star Lord Peter Quill

The Four Musketeers: Milady’s Revenge

Actors:  Michael York, Oliver Reed, Frank Finlay, Richard Chamberlain, Jean-Pierre Cassel, Geraldine Chaplin, Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway, Christopher Lee, Simon Ward, Raquel Welch, Spike Milligan, Roy Kinnear

Rating:  9 out of 10, This is the second half of the 3 Musketeers which was released as a sequel once they realized how much footage they had on their hands.  This one is even better than the first albeit a little darker.  The boys are running around France trying to thwart Charlton Heston’s evil plans along with laying siege to some rebels.  Just where did the Cardinal come up with all these henchman?  Even with all the hijinks the back story of Milady and Athos is heartbreaking when it reaches the climatic scenes.  Together with the first half of the film, easily the best version of the classic Dumas book ever brought to the screen.

MVP:   Raquel Welch as the clumsily tragic Constance Bonacieux

The Three Musketeers

Actors:  Michael York, Oliver Reed, Frank Finlay, Richard Chamberlain, Jean-Pierre Cassel, Geraldine Chaplin, Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway, Christopher Lee, Simon Ward, Raquel Welch, Spike Milligan, Roy Kinnear

Rating:  9 out of 10, One of my favorite movies from the 1970’s and by far the very best (along with the so called sequel – the Four Musketeers) movie version ever made of the Dumas classic.  Some of the action scenes haven’t aged as well as the rest of the movie but that’s probably because we’ve been so spoiled by CGI.  I had forgotten what immense screen presence a young Oliver Reed had – he just leaps off the screen.  I always wondered why he didn’t do more.  There was the well-remembered headlong mix of action, comedy and drama delivered by the supremely talented cast.  This film also marked the first time Raquel Welch was more than just a pretty face (amongst other features of her anatomy) as she was an able comedic, slapstick actress while still being just drop dead gorgeous.  A great romp down memory lane.

MVP:  Oliver Reed as Athos dominates the screen

The Expendables 3

Actors:  Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Rating:  7 out of 10, This movie was much better watching a second time.  It wasn’t a great attempt at moving the franchise into a younger generation.  I was surprised that they chose to veer away from the entertaining by-play between the aged mercenaries to play to a non-memorable group of youngsters.  Even the aggressive use of performance enhancing drugs cannot hide the onslaught of time on Stallone and Schwarzenegger although it was good to see Mel Gibson back at work as a passable villain.  Even Harrison Ford showed up for some unknown reason but at least he had the class to look slightly embarrassed.  The earlier two movies were entertaining if cartoonish.  The new director decided to go all the way into cartoonish.  Stallone also wrote this movie which was a surprise since he’s still a pretty good writer, if not judged by this.  The biggest failures were the young Expendables who dropped the baton which was being lazily handed to them by the seniors.  This is the kind of movie though that requires the suspension of disbelief and immersion into mayhem.  On that level it works fairly well.

MVP:  Banderas as Galgo the non-stop talking comedic relief.

22 Jump Street

Actors:  Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Peter Stormare, Ice Cube, Amber Stevens,

Wyatt Russell, Jillian Bell, Jimmy Tatro, Nick Offerman

Rating:  9 out of 10, This movie shouldn’t have worked because it was a tired retread of the first movie (which was hilarious).  It soars for exactly that reason.  I’ve never seen a sequel that poked so much fun at itself and at sequels in general.  The plot was tame and exactly what you would expect but the movie was aimed directly at the idiocy of most sequels – it wasn’t evenly thinly disguised.  The film revels in being a sequel that parodies sequels.  The end credits took this to another level including some very funny cameos.  See this movie for the end credits if nothing else – funny beyond words.

MVP:  Channing Tatum as Greg Jenko displays great comedic timing