Beneath the Planet of the Apes

Actors:  Charlton Heston, Kim Hunter, Roddy McDowell, Linda Harrison, Maurice Evans, James Franciscus
Rating:  6 out of 10, An obvious attempt to reap some sequel benefits from the successful first movie and they did manage to get Harrison back in her leather bikini, but….   This movie played and was edited like a television show and really missed having Heston in a lead role.  The writer was obviously traumatized by growing up during the cold war because the unintentional comedy level skyrockets when we meet a bunch of deformed, telepathic humans praying to a nuclear bomb as their god. 
MVP:  Harrison and her bikini

Planet of the Apes

Actors:  Charlton Heston, Kim Hunter, Roddy McDowell, Linda Harrison, Maurice Evans
Rating:  7 out of 10, The first and definitely the best of the old Apes movies with the twist ending explaining why everyone, including the apes, spoke English.  It’s interesting to watch now for the sledgehammer type criticism leveled against 1960s society.  Harrison doesn’t say a word but wears the hell out of her buckskin bikini.  Every time you see Heston in a movie, you’re reminded of what screen presence is all about. 
MVP:  Heston as Taylor the preachy, but compelling hero

The Impossible

Actors:  Naomi Watts, Ewan McGregor, Tom Holland, Sonke Mohring
Rating:  8 out of 10, I’m not a huge Watts fan but she really surprised me in this, as did the whole movie.  The first twenty minutes are as visceral an experience one can imagine as the 2004 tsunami devastates Thailand.  The film doesn’t go for cheap, Hollywood tricks but reduces the view to that of the victims which is heartbreaking.  Tom Holland as the eldest son holds his own with the veteran actors and McGregor is his typical awesome as the desperate father searching for his family. I also liked the depiction of the quiet courage of the Thais faced with unimaginable horror and doing their simple, human best to help.   
MVP:  McGregor as the focused father

Spring Breakers

Actors:  James Franco, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashlety Benson, Rachel Korine
Rating:  7 out of 10, I thought this would only be a T&A spring break exploitation flick until my daughter (feminist extraordinaire) recommended it.  The gals in this movie totally dominate even if their life choices are somewhat screwy. James Franco continues his streak of totally unlikable characters but at least in this one I he was supposed to be. He plays one of those white guys (we all see them) trying to mimic black gangsta style and only manage absurd “loser” status. I liked the bond of the gals in this but the director goes for so many “style” shots that the pace comes to a screeching halt. The last few minutes descend into complete fantasy with the girls packing 800 round magazines on pistols and becoming deadly marksmen, with no training, but hey, it’s the movies. In the end this really is a chick flick that tries to intrude on male action themes and does a pretty good job of it.
MVP:  Hudgens definitely leaves Disney well behind her and is the best actor on the screen for this

Attack the Block

Actors:  Jodie Whitaker, John Boyega, Alex Esmail, Leeon Jones, Nick Frost
Rating:  7 out of 10, An extremely interesting take on the old alien invasion motif.  A gang of young toughs start out mugging a helpless girl and then team up with her to deal with an invasion of shaggy aliens in an inner city tenement.  Some of the dialogue was tough for a Yank to follow because of the thick accents.  Interesting to see a side of modern Britain not well explored in cinema that reaches our shore – this was definitely not Jane Austen territory.  Not a D’Arcy in sight (thank God) but some pretty well done action scenes and a very interesting young cast; especially Boyega who has some real screen presence.  Nick Frost shows up for some reason that’s never really explained – kind of wasted in this.  A fun movie but the “heroes” were awful hard to root for.   
MVP:  Boyega as Moses the natural leader of the gang

Conan the Barbarian

Actors:  Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan
Rating:  8 out of 10, I initially really didn’t like this remake of one of my favorite movie characters.  I thought Milius captured the true spirit of Conan in his 1980’s version, mainly by limiting Arnold to about seventeen words in the entire movie.  The stark, lone, invincible warrior I read about growing up was there.  I didn’t give this one a chance when it first came out because of that bias but my son encouraged me to see it again and he was right.  It’s a well done action movie and Momoa can actually speak which is probably what threw me off.  Nichols is no Sandahl Bergman (whatever happened to her) as the heroine but Lang and an especially creepy McGowan make great villains.   
MVP:  Perlman as Conan’s father is his usual, epic, understated awesome.

Vampire Lovers

Actors:  Ingrid Pitt, Madeline Smith, Peter Cushing, Ferdy Cole, Jon Finch
Rating:  6 out of 10, A return to one of the later Hammer Studio horror movies where they tried to up viewership by finally letting those signature low cut blouses fail.  Pitt was a little beyond her prime but still extremely “watchable” in this seriously silly vampire tale where she seduces and then kills a series of well endowed young British actresses.  Cushing is barely in this until he’s called on to “Van Helsing” the poor Ms Pitt.  I’m still trying to figure out what the male vampire running around the woods was supposed to be doing.
MVP:  Ms Smith with her large tracts of land as the clueless Emma