The Girl in the Spider’s Web

Actors: Claire Foy, Sverrir Gudnason, LaKeith Stanfield, Sylvia Hoeks, Stephen Merchant

Rating: 8 out of 10, The latest version of Lisbeth Salander. If you count the Swedish trilogy of films this marks the fifth incarnation of the girl with dragon tattoo and she’s no less compelling here with Clair Foy in the title role. I appreciated the decision to focus almost completely on Salander this time and marginalizing the Blomquist character because she’s where the story resides. She takes a break from torturing abusive men long enough to steal an ultra-secret from the NSA and then her dysfunctional family raises its head and the body count skyrockets. There are some gaping plot holes that can be forgiven in order to keep the plot moving at the relentless pace needed. The movie does cause some serious pause at buying a car loaded with electronic features though.

MVP: Hoeks as the mysterious Salander sister, haunting

Hunter Killer

Actors: Gerard Butler, Gary Oldman, Michael Nyqvist, Common, Linda Cardellini, Toby Stephens

Rating: 8 out of 10, Hunter Killer gets Gerard Butler out of his secret service gig to confront the Russians as a nuclear sub commander. The concept was so outlandish and totally impossible that it should be labeled as pure science fiction but this was still a lot of fun, even with my wife constantly whispering in my ear asking if what they showed the military doing was possible (a lot wasn’t). Butler still oozes screen presence and makes this watchable despite the trite and extremely predictable dialogue he’s forced to utter and endure. The Russian military has staged a coup and want to start a war for some unrevealed reason. Butler commands a sub running around underneath the ice while a Seal team infiltrates a nearby Russian base so the powers in Washington can watch everything going on. The only miss in the cast was Gary Oldman who plays a CJCS in his unhinged mode and it doesn’t work. Common is startling good as a navy admiral countering Oldman’s over the top delivery. This won’t win any critical acclaim but it was a great popcorn ride of an action flick.

MVP: Nyquist as the Russian sub Capt. Andropov, says so much with just his eyes

Trail of the Pink Panther

Actors: Peter Sellers, Herbert Lom, Burt Kwouk,Harvey Korman

Rating: 5 out of 10, While Sellers stars in this, the movie was put together after his death as a sort of tribute (or attempted money making grab). They cobbled together a bunch of deleted scenes from earlier movies around a scarily bad plot as we follow a French TV journalist tracking down former colleagues and adversaries to talk about the missing indomitable Clouseau. The only truly poignant scene is the end where we see Clouseau’s encounter with a “swine seagull” followed by a montage of memorable antics.

MVP: Sellers, the one and only Clouseau

Revenge of the Pink Panther

Actors: Peter Sellers, Herbert Lom, Burt Kwouk, Robert Webber, Dyan Cannon, Tony Beckley, Robert Loggia

Rating: 5 out of 10, Clouseau takes on the French Connection this time out which is somehow headed by Blake Edwards favorite Robert Webber in a funny role. They think they’ve finally killed in the indestructible Clouseau only to find out he’s traded clothes with a random French transvestite. Clouseau comes to America for the first time in a godawful Godfather disguise. While this had a few funny moments I struggled to stay with it. Sellers mailed this performance in.

MVP: Kwouk, as Kato the long abused attack butler

The Pink Panther Strikes Again

Actors: Peter Sellers, Herbert Lom, Leonard Rossiter, Lesley-Anne Down, Colin Blakely, Omar Sharif, Burt Kwouk, Graham Stark

Rating: 6 out of 10, This is where the Pink Panther movies officially jumped the shark as long suffering Herbert Lom as Chief Inspector Dreyfus becomes a 007 level villain complete with UN dissolving death ray. Clouseau is pursued by an army of assassins as he tries to track down Dreyfus. They all fail through no skill by Clouseau which only adds to his legend and Dreyfus’ madness. There were some funny moments but this is where the series seemed to lose a lot of its fun.

MVP: Ms. Down, as the British assassin, forgot how gorgeous she was

The Return of the Pink Panther

Actors: Peter Sellers, Christopher Plummer, Catherine Schell, Peter Arne, Graham Stark, Burt Kwouk

Rating: 8 out of 10, This is my favorite Clouseau movie as I watch my way through the entire series. Sellers is spot on as the totally inept and yet somehow completely successful French police inspector. Plummer replaces Niven as the Phantom and has his moments in a Saharan sub-plot but this movie belongs to Sellers as he makes his through increasingly outlandish disguises. Poor Herbert Lom, as Closeau’s supervisor continues his march into madness as the supervisor of the criminally unaware detective. This was a nice insertion of comedic nostalgia.

MVP: Sellers, of course

A Shot in the Dark

Actors: Peter Sellers, Elke Sommer, George Sanders, Herbert Lom, Tracy Reed

Graham Stark Rating: 6 out of 10, The quick follow up to the pink panther with Inspector Clouseau as the central character. We see for the first time his long suffering boss Commissioner Dreyfus as well as his attack butler Kato. There was some obvious tongue in cheek casting with Nordic goddess Elke Sommer as an Italian maid and the uber-English Saunders as a French aristocrat. This seemed more like a theatrical play with a series of murders laid at the feet of the hot Italian maid whom Clouseau (and every other male viewer) is falling in love with. It doesn’t help that he is Clouseau with the world literally imploding in his wake. Funny, but a little forced.

MVP: Sellers as Jacques Clouseau, the worst successful detective ever