A Shot in the Dark

Actors: Peter Sellers, Elke Sommer, George Sanders, Herbert Lom, Tracy Reed

Graham Stark Rating: 6 out of 10, The quick follow up to the pink panther with Inspector Clouseau as the central character. We see for the first time his long suffering boss Commissioner Dreyfus as well as his attack butler Kato. There was some obvious tongue in cheek casting with Nordic goddess Elke Sommer as an Italian maid and the uber-English Saunders as a French aristocrat. This seemed more like a theatrical play with a series of murders laid at the feet of the hot Italian maid whom Clouseau (and every other male viewer) is falling in love with. It doesn’t help that he is Clouseau with the world literally imploding in his wake. Funny, but a little forced.

MVP: Sellers as Jacques Clouseau, the worst successful detective ever

The Pink Panther

Actors: David Niven, Peter Sellers, Robert Wagner, Capucine, Claudia Cardinale.

Rating: 8 out of 10, The very first Inspector Clouseau movie and I was surprised that he was obviously just a supporting character in the movie that went on to spawn the innumerable sequels featuring him. It’s understandable why because Sellers steals every scene he’s in as the bumbling French detective although it was hard to look at anything else whenever Claudia Cardinale was on screen. David Niven is the lead as a suave jewel thief hunted by Clouseau while also having an affair with Clouseau’s wife. An impossibly young Robert Wagner shows up as the literal American nephew and hijinks ensue ably managed by director Blake Edwards.

MVP: Cardinale as the princess Dala, amazing screen presence

Legend of Billy Jean

Actors: Helen Slater, Keith Gordon, Christian Slater, Richard Bradford, Peter Coyote, Martha Gehman

Rating: 5 out of 10, Some more bad 1980s cinema came into my possession and an old favorite resurfaced. This hasn’t aged well and is mostly watchable to see how the ridiculous was common place during that era, not to mention the tall hair. Helen Slater plays a hot trailer park gal with possibly the stupidest brother (a very young Christian) in cinema history who has to go on the lam after running afoul of a well-connected villain. She becomes a Joan of Arc for the Texas seacoast area as the thoroughly incompetent police can’t track her down despite the gaping plot holes present. What were we thinking?!

MVP: Helen Slater as Billie Jean Davy occasionally rises above the bad writing

Little Nikita

Actors: River Phoenix, Sidney Poitier, Richard Jenkins, Caroline Kava, Richard Bradford, Richard Lynch

Rating: 3 out of 10, Another bad 80s flick about a deep cover Russian family living the American dream in suburban San Diego. Basically the same premise as The Americans and you can see why it took so long after this fiasco for Hollywood to return to it. This is one of the movies that surprises you because the cast is top notch but cannot salvage it. Phoenix displays the awesome potential that was sadly lost in his passing but there were massive holes in the plot that cannot be forgiven, even for a bad movie. Poitier must be embarrassed to have this film on his sterling resume as he plays an awkward FBI agent befriending the son of the Russian agents while two separate assassins are tracking them all down. It was all very Russian and very bad.

MVP: River Phoenix as Jeff, makes you miss him all the more

Victor, Victoria

Actors: Julie Andrews, James Garner, Robert Preston, Lesley Ann Warren, Alex Karras, John Rhys-Davies

Rating: 8 out of 10, Another in my venture through Blake Edwards’ films with Mrs. Edwards in the lead role as a talented singer down on in luck in the inter-war years Paris. She runs into the very gay Robert Preston who encourages her to audition as a man impersonating a woman (Note – the French are weird). She/he becomes the toast of Paris until she falls for the rugged American visitor, James Garner. This movie works on so many levels. Its message of tolerance is all the more relevant nowadays. The writing and Mancini score are crisp. There are so many memorable moments but none are topped by Preston’s climatic song standing in for he now exposed Andrews’ character. I couldn’t stop laughing as it apparently everyone had a lot of fun with it while filming. Lesley Ann Warren, a personal favorite, more than holds her own with the notable talent surrounding her. This movie is just fun.

MVP: Preston as Toddy, the Queen of 1930’s Paris

Hardbodies

Actors: Grant Cramer, Courtney Gains, Gary Wood, Darcy DeMoss, Cindy Silver,  Sorells Pickard, Kristi Somers, Michael Rapport, Teal Roberts

Rating: 4 out of 10, A trip down memory lane as one of the memorable flicks from Skinemax’s 1980s heyday somehow came into my possession. This is a harmless bit of fun with a beach bum hustler type with a heart of gold signing on to help three middle aged men connect with beach bunnies in Southern California. There is nothing socially redeeming about this in the least and its sole recommendation comes from the lavish exposure of topless ladies. Surprisingly the women come out as the strong personalities in this farce.

MVP: Grant Cramer as Scotty Palmer the hustler

Skin Deep

Actors: John Ritter, Vincent Gardenia, Alyson Reed, Joel Brooks, Julianne Phillips, Chelsea Field, Peter Donat, Don Gordon, Nina Foch, Denise Crosby, Michael Kidd, Dee Dee Rescher

Rating: 7 out of 10, I continue my revisit of director Blake Edwards’ films with this sex comedy from the late 1980s. I liked this back in the day for the gratuitous display of topless ladies but it has aged well with Edwards’ cutting humor, or at least better than the “tall hair” styles of that era. Ritter is very good but almost too likable to play a vile alcoholic, womanizer descending into what seems to be a bottomless pit of depression. I know I said comedy and it really is funny. My favorite character was the wife of Ritter’s lawyer, Dee Dee Rescher, who laughs uncontrollably every time Ritter gets himself into further comical trouble. She plays the Greek chorus exposing how ludicrous Ritter’s character’s life has become. There is also the luminescent condom fight scene which is still funnier than it should be. Well worth a watch, a lot of subtle as well as slapstick humor.

MVP: Ritter as the Zach, a writer who should know better than let his ex-girlfriend strap him into an electric stimulation machine

Blind Date

Actors: Bruce Willis, Kim Basinger, John Larroquette, William Daniels, George Coe, Mark Blum, Phil Hartman

Rating: 7 out of 10, Willis’ big screen debut, back when he still had hair, tried to tap into his Moonlighting comedic personae, somewhat successfully. The biggest question looming over the plot is how Kim Bassinger would have ever needed to fixed up with a blind date. That being said Blake Edwards once again proves a deft hand with slapstick, disaster comedy. Willis’ date descends into madness as the crazed ex-boyfriend shows up along with an alcohol fueled Bassinger which eventually breaks Willis. While this movie has obviously aged there were a lot of small inside jokes that were a trademark of Edwards’ films. Sad to see Phil Hartman and the promise he always showed.

MVP: John Larroquette as the crazed boyfriend - David Bedford